I Want To Be Like You
by monicaelysia
Summary: A Propunk fic. The first 2-3 Chapters will be like certain episodes in the series, but after that we see a different side to Rachel. Will it convince Sarah?
1. Sarah as Cosima

Sarah moved her way through the crowd. The Dyad Institute was bigger than she thought, and she had no idea how many of these lab coats knew Cosima personally. Looking passed her sister's glasses, Sarah wished she'd thought more about this plan. _Get to Rachel. Save Kira. _Now she was here, she had no idea what to do. Where would Rachel be? How would she get there?

Just as she was thinking she made a massive mistake coming here, Sarah felt someone grab her arm. Panic fired through her. She span around to make a break for it, when the woman in front of her smiled so genuinely it made her stop.

'Cosima!' Her grin spreading, 'You came!'

_A French accent, this must be Delphine. _Smiling back, Sarah let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. 'Hey' Sarah had to think. Quick. What does Cosima **do**? She was about to make some weird hand gesture, Sarah felt a pair of cold glossy lips on hers.

'You won't regret this' Delphine whispered. _I think I do already. Oh god Cosima don't hate me. _Moving as far away from Delphine's embarce as she could, the only noise she could muster was a grunt. The smile she pulled was so fake that even an outsider would have questioned it. Luckily Delphine wasn't looking.

'Aldous, look who it is' Delphine waved her hand into the air.

'Oh no, no, no,' Sarah realised her British accent was slipping back. She tried to laugh and become bubbly like her sister, but panic was creeping back to her. Sarah knew she couldn't keep this up for long. _Keep cool. Leekie might know something. He might know where Rachel is. Think of Kira. _

As Dr Leekie made his way over, Sarah did her best to make herself the nonchalant, confident, troublemaker she knew her sister to be.

'Why hello, I wasn't as sure as Delphine that you were going to turn up' His smile gave her goose bumps. _Don't trust this man._ Sarah looked up at Delphine for reassurance. The proud smile she gave back made Sarah feel sick. _I'm not the one you love. Stop looking at me like that. _

'Yeah, well here I am' Sarah wiggled her fingers for good measure 'Doesn't mean I'm gunna sign your contract though'. She was determined that if she was going to trample through Cosima's life like this, that at least she wouldn't make too much damage.

'This is really a starting point. Uncharted waters. Really it's all up to you' His smile was friendly but there was something there that Sarah didn't like. Didn't trust. Knowing Cosima, she was probably too understanding to the old manipulator, Sarah wanted to rustle Leekie's feathers for good measure. No one should mess with the clone sisters!

'Ok,' Sarah said, looking directly into the enemies eyes. 'But I want my own lab' She shrugged her shoulders and held her stare. A surprised huff escaped Leekie as he took a step back. Sarah's smugness radiated from her. _Hey I could do this. I could be a negotiator. I could demand a whole building, it's us that they want after all._ Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah saw Delphine cross her arms. _Maybe I went too far?_ Sarah was starting to lose her confidence. She tried to give Delphine her Lab-winning stare but the glasses made it less threatening. _God damn Cosima is blind. _

'Cosima, you have a bright future,' He look hold of her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze 'This is the best place for you to be right now' Sarah knew that she'd pushed him too far, he was about to leave, this was her last chance.

'Thank you Dr Leekie.' She said with her best appreciative smile. She pulled him into an awkward hug. Effortlessly, Sarah slid her hand into his pocket and fingered her way towards some sort of badge. _Gotcha, _she thought, _hopefully that was all worth it._

Leekie smiled and walked away. Sarah was just about to relax when she realised that Delphine was still here.

'You're Sarah' It was a statement, not a question. Her face was blank and her eyes cold. _Well the cats out of the bag now._

'Yeah.' She replied, giving up the Cosima-disguise. 'Nice to meet you too.' Sarah told herself to keep her defences up. This was the girl who hurt Cosima. She's a monitor. She can't be trusted.

Delphine's face softened with a look of sympathy. 'Does Cosima know you're doing this?' Sarah could see how her sister could fall for this woman. She looked like she really cared, and wanted to help. Her eyes were wide and full of emotion. Her hand took refuge on Sarah's arm, and it made her feel almost safe. Almost.

'Depends if I get caught' Sarah kept her voice hard and unattached. She didn't have time to figure out who **she** can trust, but she trusted Cosima, and Cosima trusted Delphine. She would have to do. Grabbing her by the waist, Sarah brought Delphine closer so no one else could hear them talk. You could see it on her face that Delphine was uncomfortable, but Sarah appreciated the fact that she didn't try to pull away. Maybe she did want to help.

'Where are Kira and Siobhan?'

A blank look crossed Delphine's face. 'What?'

'Don't play stupid, Rachel kidnapped my family! Where are they?!' Sarah demanded.

Panic played on her face 'H-how would I know?' I've never even seen her' Sarah could see the desperation in Delphine's eyes, she was telling the truth. The fact that she was so desperate for Sarah to believe her took her by surprise.

'Well, I've seen her, and if you want to keep Cosima out the loop, then you'll tell me where she is' Anger was fuelling Sarah now, the fact that she knew Delphine would help without the threat of Cosima meant little to her. She wanted Rachel! And she was so close! All she could think about was the smug little smile on the bitch's face. _Delphine __**will**__ tell me what she knows!_

'Ok' she gulped 'There is serious business going on right now.' Someone walked by and Delphine gave them a quick smile, her voice grew quieter. 'My guess is that she is using Dr Leekie's office'

'Where's that?' Sarah asked,

'Down there,' Delphine nodded down toward to stairs on the far end of the hall. Sarah moved the glasses to see where Delphine was looking. _Four guards. Easy. _ 'It's near to impossible to get down there, you'll need a swipe key to get down to the 10th floor'

'Like this?' Sarah, showed her the card she took from Leekie. Her confidence growing. _It's all coming together. We can do this. I'm coming to get you Kira. _Her face turned hard. _I'm coming to get you Rachel. _

So drunk on the feeling of triumph, Sarah didn't hear Delphine whisper 'You're going to get yourself killed.'


	2. Who's In Control Now?

Going down the stairs where Delphine had pointed, Sarah removed Cosima's glasses. She pressed Aldous's card against its reader and crept into the restricted area. The guards were focused on a big group of business people walking by, making an easy distraction for Sarah to sneak passed. Searching through the classroom-like hallway, passing labs and offices alike, she span around hoping for so much of a sign as to where she should be going. _Lost. Again. And no Delphine to help me this time. _Using the only logic she could think of, Sarah followed the sizes of the rooms. _Big rooms mean they're a big deal... right?_

Somewhere in front of her, Sarah could hear the sound of muffled voices. Creeping her way towards the noises, she pressed her back against the wall. As she got to the end of the corridor, Sarah peeked her head around the corner and could see the glass doors to Leekie's office. There she was. Rachel. Her back facing her. Sarah didn't need to see her face to know that the woman in front of her was the pro-clone. The way she was commanding the room, grabbing everyone's attention and manipulating her audience, there was no doubt in her mind. _But Rachel's not going to manipulate me. Not this time. _ Sarah waited anxiously for the meeting to be over. After what felt like an eternity, people started exiting the office, leaving the bob haired blonde alone in the room.

Seizing her chance, Sarah scrambled out of Cosima's coat. She wanted Rachel to know that it was her, **Sarah**, she was talking to. She didn't want there to be any question. When she placed fear in the bitch's heart, she wanted Rachel to know it was Sarah who put it there. _No one messes with my family. _Yanking Alison's gun out of her jeans, she gripped it in her surprisingly steady hand.

Quiet as she could Sarah, walked to the room and un-hesitantly opened the door.

* * *

Rachel could hear the faint sound of the door opening. A person was entering the office. It took two soft steps for Rachel to know who it was. Sarah. The clone she was fascinated with. The one who might have the answers to all the questions. Sarah was the only one to have a child, she had a raw survival instinct, she had …. something.

'Good. You made it' Rachel said smugly, she was facing the window and did her best to make her features more sober before turning around.

'I want my daughter' Sarah's voice was firm and yet shaky, as if she was doing all she could not to attack Rachel now. Which, now Rachel thought about it, was probably accurate.

'Of course, and we want you to be together.' Facing Sarah, Rachel could see her bouncing from one foot to the other. _She must be raging to do something. So active that girl, I wonder how much control she has over herself. Poor little street kid. _'But my people found your foster mothers house over-turned. They were gone when we got there.'

'You're lyin' Anger was bursting all over Sarah's face. _Quick, I need to get her onto my side. Our side. The truth now. She must believe me._

'I lied to get you here' Rachel stepped closer, hoping to bridge the gap between them. 'But we don't have them' Looking directly into Sarah's eyes, she hoped that the truth showed. The loss of Kira was a blow, both for the company and for Rachel herself. It wasn't the child she really cared for, it was the biology. Although she told herself that she had no emotional connection to the clone's offspring, the idea of Kira both lightened her heart and clouded her with jealousy. _How come __**she **__is able to create life, what makes her so special?_ Rachel just wanted to study the runaway. She wanted to watch her, to know her.

A silence engulfed the room as Sarah took on what she was saying. Rachel took the opportunity to have a real good look at the specimen before her. Sarah stood determined and ready to pounce at any moment. She carried an air about her, as if she was a spark about to ignite. The idea thrilled Rachel, making her want to test the troublemaker. To see how far she could go. Rachel could see from the way Sarah held herself and the way she dare try to defy her, that she was unlike any clone she had ever studied. Unlike any person she had ever met. She didn't know if it was resolve in her eyes, the hard set of her lips, or the rugged grace of her stance, but Rachel had to know Sarah. She had to know what makes her tick.

Slowly, Sarah moved her arm outwards. A gun. Fear spiked through Rachel's body.

'Kira's here, and I want to see her now' Sarah's low authoritative voice had Rachel feel weak. Her heart gave a flutter as the rocker girl stepped closer. Rachel did her best to keep her new found emotions off her face. _I will not give-in to the street rat. _Rachel detached herself from her emotions, like she had learned to do since childhood. _This subject must be brought to heel. No clone is allowed to run moniterless. She deserves no special treatment just because she is different to the others._

'You're not going to shoot me Sarah' Rachel said, raising her chin, trying to pull back the power she had only moments ago.

As quick as flash, Sarah raised the gun to point at Rachel's head and pulled the trigger. The bullet flew past Rachel's ear and smashed into the glass flower pot behind her. Rachel ducked down in reflex. The fear she was holding back, now visible for the world to see.

* * *

Sarah pointed her gun to Rachel's chest. The posh twat now shaking with fear, her once perfect hair dishevelled as she cowered beneath her.

'If you don't have her you're dead!' Sarah threatened. _I will find you Kira and I don't care if I kill this bitch to do it. _Even as she thought it, Sarah felt cold_. Kill her sister? But she isn't family, she isn't one of us!_ Pushing the confusing thoughts out of her head, Sarah did her best to keep thinking of Kira. To remember the person before her was the reason her baby was missing.

'There are other forces playing with our fate Sarah' Rachel pleaded, her eyes wide. 'We'll get Kira back. Together.'

That last word broke Sarah. '_Together'? How dare she try to claim my Kira? I will find her myself. I don't need help from the bitch-clone. The evil-clone. The on-the-wrong-side clone!_ With all her strength, Sarah slapped the liar. Rachel fell hard to the ground with a thud. Not missing a beat, Sarah climbed on top of her, putting the gun to her head.

Straddling Rachel, Sarah felt in control. She wanted to push herself hard onto the blonde bitch, to give her pain, maybe even suffocate her a bit. Anything to show the traitor that she had no control over her. Sarah pushed the gun into Rachel's cheek, forcing her to turn her head. Leaning in closer, Sarah could smell the sweat on Rachel's neck. She felt a random urge press her lips against the woman's skin. Her lips tingled at the possibility. Surprised by herself Sarah loosened the grip on the gun, allowing Rachel to turn back, facing her captor. The bewildering feeling grew stronger, that it became all that Sarah could do to keep herself at the distance she was. As the seconds ticked by, Sarah became increasingly aware of how close their bodies were.

Confused and slightly aroused, Sarah dragged her eyes away from the ruby red lips, to Rachel's eyes. She wanted to get back to the anger she felt only moments before but she had no idea how to pull those feelings back. All she could think about was how innocent Rachel looked. Maybe she was a prisoner in all of this as well. She was a clone after all.

* * *

Rachel looked up into Sarah's eyes and felt a vulnerability unlike anything else she'd felt before. Sarah watched her searchingly, as if trying to talk to her without words. Rachel wanted to tell her that she wanted out of the Dyad life, she wanted to escape the fear and live a life without looking over her shoulder. She was about to speak her truth, when she saw Paul enter the room out of corner of her eye.

Her heart raced to close back her feelings. Everything she built, everything she created she almost lost because of that stupid clone! The less that human, British brat. What was she thinking?

'No one lays hands on me' Rachel said. Eyes cold again.

* * *

Taken back by Rachel's outburst, Sarah was confused. All stupendous feelings she bad before had vanished. _I was just enjoying the control. Nothing weird about that._ Sarah tried to convince herself and push the memory into the 'never to enter' thoughts of her mind.

_Kira. _Sarah remembered where she was. In the Dyad Institute surrounded by liars, manipulators and murders. They would hurt, Cosima, Alison and even Fee without thinking out it. All for their unethical and ludicrous experiments.

Sarah hissed. 'You don't own us'

She tightened her finger around the trigger, when she heard a click.

It wasn't from her gun.


	3. Where do I go now?

'Sarah, put it down' Paul's voice echoed through Sarah's head, she was so close and now she might not have such a good chance again. She didn't think that Paul would shoot her, but he worked for Rachel now. Would he pick his life over hers? Sarah knew who she'd pick.

Sarah moved her gun slightly away from Rachel's face. In that moment of submission Rachel turned to face her, the most annoying smirk on her face. Rachel licked her lips, as if trying to taunt her. Sitting up slowly, Sarah realised she was still straddling the posh brat. Anger swelled up in her yet again. _This controlling ass-wipe still has my daughter!_ With all her strength Sarah smashed her gun against Rachel's temple, and swung around to point it at Paul. No noise came from her victim, Sarah didn't know if she was knocked out or dead and right now she didn't care.

'Where is Kira?' She demanded. Heavy breathing and ready to fight.

'We don't have her,' Paul said sympathetically, he knew Sarah well enough to know she was capable of doing anything right now, and he didn't want to frighten her anymore. 'They were playing me too!'

He took a deep breath and looked up to the hidden camera behind Leekie's desk 'Now lower your gun.'

'What are you? Her body guard now?' Sarah spat. Jealously riddled through her, Paul was meant to be on her side, he said he loved her. _Why does this self-righteous piece of shit think she can take my child and my …. my what? _Sarah sighed, she was losing herself to her emotions and she couldn't think straight.

Seeing the moment of doubt, Paul spoke quietly 'Lower the gun, and turn around'

Obeying, Sarah did as she was told. When she turned she had a full view of Rachel lying on the floor, she looked almost peaceful. _I need to get my family back together. Paul is not my family. _As he went to hand-cuff her, Sarah turned, slamming her elbow into his face, taking his gun with her.

He looked at her. Stunned. After a moment of complete silence he whispered in defeat 'Go … I'll… I'll make up something' wiping blood from his mouth.

Dumb founded Sarah ran before he changed his mind. Sarah could feel his eyes on him, but she didn't look back. _Kira._

* * *

Back at Fee's flat, Sarah was pacing.

'So Rachel doesn't have her?' Cosima asked it as more of an analytical question than one of disbelief. Sitting on the sofa, elbows on her knees, she was rustling through papers Sarah knew nothing about.

'So what do we do now?' Alison fretted, standing up, turning around, and sitting back down again. 'I mean, what do we do now? Holy fish sticks, where do we go? Who could possibly have our little girl?' She was close to tears, her fingers dabbing her eyes.

'Don't worry Al, we'll find her' Fee rushed up to hug her, 'Wont we Sarah' His eyes hard on Sarah's. He's words said a statement, but he face asked a question. _How can I find you now Monkey?_

Sarah turned away, she couldn't look at her family right now. She needed to focus. _Who else knows about us? _No one! Sarah was close to tears herself now, she left lost and desperate. Rachel was her last hope! Rachel was meant to solve everything! _Why did I have so much faith in her? She doesn't know everything. _Sarah realised._ It's not all about her._

Confused about her sudden revelation, Sarah didn't know why she thought Rachel was the 'Be all, end all'. There were other people she needed to be aware of.

'Helena' Sarah and Cosima said together.

'How did we forget about her?' Cosima's eyes light up. 'We know she was working with people before, the um ... fish people or something.' Grabbing her laptop she started her search 'Sarah, we know she has a connection to you right? How can we get a hold of her?'

Sitting down, Sarah felt so empty and tired. She had no idea how to solve this. This might be too much for her. 'Helena … Helena's dead' she whispered.

* * *

Rachel sat in her office ignoring her work. She had to get Sarah back. She needed her on her side, DYAD's side. The little flake was hard enough to get to before, let alone now, when she knows Rachel knows nothing.

_We need to get to Kira first, then we can bribe her….._ Once again Rachel stopped herself in her thoughts. She didn't want to go down that route. It was an easy one to take, and she had done it to many of the other clones before. But this time was different, Sarah … Sarah held the key to the unknown. For some reason Sarah held so much importance.

Grabbing her phone she dialled the number for Paul. 'I want you to get a phone to Sarah'

'But how am I going to do that?!'

'I don't care about your incompetence, I just want it done!' Rachel slammed the phone down, and ran her fingers through her hair. _Why does this girl make me so angry!_

_What is it about Sarah?_


	4. Sestra

Helena crawled her way to the hospital's front desk.

'Sestra' she whispered before collapsing.

Someone screamed, and people started running around her, Helena couldn't focus enough to see what was happening. She felt someone move her. The pain electrified her, and she heard her own voice screech in agony, but the only thing she could think of was Sarah. _Sestra. _Her sister shot her, and it was all her fault. She pushed the girl too far, demanding her affections.

'You wouldn't shot me, Sestra' the memory seared through her. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Sarah's like me, strong and free. I should not have ended the false mother's life. _Blackness was covering her blurred vision. The darkness was never a friend. Helena fought with all her might to push the abyss away, all the time thinking of her sister, lost to her. _She must forgive me. _A weep escaped her. _She must. _

The abyss engulfed her.

* * *

'Helena's dead?!' Alison demanded, looking down on Sarah, using her best mothering glare.

Felix sinked into the sofa 'Thank God!' he sighed. The sisters looked at him, astonished. 'What? ... Everyone was thinking it' he murmured.

Ignoring her brother, Cosima drew everyone's attention to the girl who looked like a vampire drained her soul. 'What do you mean Helena is dead?' she asked softly.

Sarah's eyes darted to all her siblings, hoping to find understanding and support. 'I' she sighed, running her fingers though her hair. 'She killed my birth mother' her voice, weak and trembling.

A silence engulfed the flat. The space between Sarah and her family became too much and a sob escaped her. Cosima dashed over to hug her sister. Felix looked at her and saw the child he grew up with, he too made his way over to her. Cosima sat on Sarah's lap, hugging her as hard as she could. Felix sat on the arm of the chair, wrapping his arms around his sister and kissed her forehead. The tears she held in for too long, flowed down her face. _I killed my sister! But she killed my mother! Why do I feel so guilty?_ The questions and accusations that had whispered to her before, now screamed and attacked her. Pulling her family close to her, Sarah cried like she never cried before. Her body ached as her world crashed around her. _Amelia. Helena. Mrs S. Kira. All gone. How do I get them back? Kira._

* * *

Alison, shocked and uncomfortable with the amount of emotion flying around, folded her arms kept her eyes on the floor. Slowly she made her way over to the huddle of people on the sofa-chair. Alison never felt more apart from the 'family' than she did then. She always wanted to be one of the Clone-club, but never really felt the connection. She was always on the side-line. Not able to join in. She felt like she was watching her sisters on the Television, like an invisible film was preventing her from being fully involved. _Or maybe I'm preventing myself._ Alison lifted her eyes and saw Felix reaching his hand out to her. She accepted him with a grateful smile. The friend ... the brother she always wanted.

'So what do we do now?'

* * *

'I don't know' Sarah whispered.

Cosima leaped away from the family huddle, doing the strange dance she does. 'I got it! Like, well, I got an idea! Helena didn't work alone did she! First that lady Beth shot, so like there might be another? If I scan the land of the internet for her there might be other people and THOSE would be the people who'd have her!'

Sarah looked sceptically at the geek. 'It's all we have Sarah' Cosima pleaded 'I've got to give it ago.'

'Yeah, sounds good Cos. I'm going to go for a walk, get some fresh air' everyone gave Sarah the space to leave. _That's all I do. Leave. But I work better alone._

Out of the flat and down into the street, Sarah weaved her way through the crowd. She didn't know where she was going, but she needed to be away. To think. The thoughts of the past year where weighing on her. _Who'd have thought I'd be mixed up in this? _It felt unreal and too much. Stuck in her own mind, Sarah almost fell over when a stranger barged past her.

'FUCKING WANKER!' she screeched at him. She shoved her balled up fists into her pockets, in anger. Her hand felt something in there that wasn't there before. Fingers curled around the object. BUZZZZZ. Shocked Sarah almost dropped the phone on the floor. She looked at the Caller ID 'Rachel'. _Of course._

'What do you want?' Not a tone of happiness.

'Kira. Just like you.' Sarah dragged in a harsh breath, ready to scream about how Kira wasn't for DYAD to have. 'Before you say anything Sarah, I want to let you know that I don't want harm to come to your child. Nor you. Yes we want Kira to study for science, but we will not hur….'

Sarah hung up the phone and threw it into the busy street. She watched the offending piece get crushed by passing cars, with a triumphant smash!

Sarah felt her other pocket vibrate. _Jesus Christ. _Picking up yet another phone in her coat.

'How many of these do you have Rachel?' Sarah sighed, leaning against a nearby wall.

'I think the real question is how many am I going to need?' A smile creeped onto Sarah face despite herself. 'I'm assuming the other one is…. indisposed.' Rachel elongated the word, forcing a power over Sarah that she couldn't name.

'You could say that' She replied. Sarah could almost feel the smirk spreading on Rachel's face.

Snapping back to important matters Rachel's tone when back to business. 'We've found where your foster mother and child are. I'm texting you the address now. I'm giving this to you, because I want you to trust me Sarah. I don't want to **hurt** you.'

The sound of the end-call tone rang in her ears as she stood frozen. _'I don't want to hurt you'? … Is that a threat or sympathy? _The way Rachel had said those last words, sounded like an apology. As if the hurt she has caused was an accident. _Don't trust her. Rachel isn't one of us. _Sarah finally took the phone away from her and looked at the message. The address was there, staring at her.

Thinking of Rachel as the enemy was becoming more and more difficult.


End file.
